Hot Celeb Gossip

The other night I had a dream that I was at a bar/party with some friends and Jason Donovan turned up. He was wasted but seemed like a nice enough guy, in that way that famous people are sometimes... they're quite friendly to you but you can tell that they don't really care - they just don't want you going and telling everyone that you met them and they were an ass. Anyway it's probably because over here he's quite a ubiqutous figure... he was on I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! last year, and this year he hammed it up for a series of Iceland commercials as they sponsored the show. He also has an autobiography out, a live dvd and I'm guessing there's a new album or greatest hits thing out somewhere although I haven't come across it. Last week he was singing on some charity telethon thing, where everyone in the audience "spontaneously" got out of their chairs to clap and sway along with him. On my way to work every day I pass two posters advertising the book and one advertising the dvd. He's everywhere. It's really odd, I don't think I'd heard anything about him since I was about 10 years old. Anyway based on Iceland ads and the video for Fifteen Feet Of Pure White Snow by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds I'm convinced he's a rad and I wouldn't hold it against him for being a bit of a phoney if I met him in real life.

This is the video in case you haven't seen it:


Jeremy Clarkson has a huge boner for Keira Knightly and keeps bringing it up on Top Gear. It's really revolting not only because he's so old, has pubes for hair, and is an obnoxious, arogant, unfunny twat that the general public seem to adore all the more for it, but also because she's a skeleton. I don't really like Top Gear, but one of my "flatmates" does so I end up watching it every week (they play the same episode about four times during the week after it's initial screening so I have plenty of opportunities). Every episode he manages to slip in at least one little love message to Keira about how much he wants to bang her. "The interior of the Mercedes GL500 is so luxurious, I'd rather be in it then Keira Knightley", "Driving a Ferrari in London is like going out with Keira Knightly for a date, taking her back to your place for coffee, then discovering that you're impotent" etc. (these aren't actually quotes, but it's always along these lines). Every time he does it I feel like throwing up. I'm about to get my snag on sorry, but it's gross to talk that way in general, and picking one woman that's about forty years younger then you and is the current poster-girl for anorexia to always go on about is disturbing. If he has to be a dirty old man maybe he should talk about women a few years older and spread it out between them - not to be any more of a gentleman, just so that I can hold down my dinner. Actually if Keira's been watching it may explain why she can't. Judging by that joke I guess the Clarkson wit may be rubbing off on me. Yuck.