I AM SMOKING AE FAG

I am currently working for a digital tv provider. I do promo graphics, menu screens and other stuff as they see fit. The office is based in Shepherds Bush, which is kind of ironic as when I moved here Shepherds Bush was the one place I decided I definitely would not move to / hang out in as it's full of travelling New Zealanders, Australians, and South Africans. I had enough of that back home, ta very much. I'm quite lucky to have a job as I've been here since August and did not apply myself to looking for work at all. My friend Ben works at ESPN and he got me a few days of work there when I first arrived which was great, and then I spent the next three months moping around obsessing over a girl that broke my heart. It's not much fun being rejected, especially when it's coming from someone who you've already established a kind of closeness with only for them to completely shut down on you and refuse to talk about it. I eventually got over it enough to update my online CV to include the fact that I'd done a little work in this country, and as soon as I did that I started getting phone calls offering me work. Thank god.

I was reading something the other day about the Machiavelli cycle, which is supposed to be about the ways societies change over time -

It may be observed, that provinces amid the vicissitudes to which they are subject,
pass from order into confusion, and afterward recur to a state of order again;
for the nature of mundane affairs not allowing them to continue in an even course,
when they have arrived at their greatest perfection,
they soon begin to decline.
In the same manner, having been reduced by disorder,
and sunk to their utmost state of depression,
unable to descend lower, they, of necessity, reascend;
and thus from good they gradually decline to evil,
and from evil again return to good.
The reason is, that
valor produces peace;
peace, repose;
repose, disorder;
disorder, ruin;
so from disorder order springs;
from order virtue, and from this,
glory and good fortune.

I think it can be extended to apply to a lot of things. I know my life tends to work in these cycles, and I guess I've been in the disorder/ruin stages since around June this year so I'm looking forward to my magnificent return to form. I've swapped listening to Townes Van Zandt and Leonard Cohen for Jay-Z and The Game, which is usually a good sign. I think there's something strange about the fact that the music I consider to be of more real value makes me want to throw myself in front of a train, while misogynistic, morally bankrupt music made by people I have absolutley nothing in common with and who I find repellent as human beings gives me so much get up and go.

I've got a digital camera here with me, and I'll start putting pictures up soon I hope. Unfortunatley it's gone flat, and I've lost the adaptor plug for the charger. I went into an electrical store (a big chain one) and asked them to help me. They were useless. The guy who served me looked at it for about 20 seconds before deciding he couldn't help and suggesting I go to "an electrical store". I didn't reply, just gave him a look which meant "I thought I was in an electrical store", prompting him to add "you know, a proper electrical store". I was really pissed off but also quite admired him. It takes balls to be that useless. Anyway if I get the camera sorted you can look forward to some incredible images of grey skies, terraced housing and foxes. Yowsers.

Virtual Catharsis

Welcome to Naivete Scene. That's a pretentious name, I know (or as Janice Dickenson spelt it on IAC,GMOOH! the other night "pretenchish". Ha ha ha. I shouldn't mock though as I'm bound to fill this thing with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors). Anyway, "Naivete Scene" doesn't mean much really, I was going to call it "Illegible Bachelor" but someone else has only gone and taken it already. If you're interested that blog seems to be mostly about playing some kind of pirate themed computer game, and the name's not super appropriate. Anyway I've mostly started this as it seems I'll be able to post higher res images on here than I can on facebook or myspace, and ringo and photobucket are too annoying. Also I'm copying Gina Lash and am going to use this to whinge to nobody. Watch out bitches.

This isn't finished as much as it's abandoned: